Should You Home School?

Pros and Cons of Home Schooling and Institutional Schooling

(Part 1)

Home Schooling - Pros

Summary

See below for a detailed description of each item:

Better social skills.
Self confidence.
Academic performance.
Thinking skills.
Great relationships with your children.
Parents are peers.
More mature children.
Moral and spiritual benefits.
High quality friendships.
Emotionally healthier and happier children.
Good team players.
Focus.
Better citizens.
Broader interests.
More influence.
Balance.
Family.
Happier children.
The joy of teaching.
A deep sense of fulfilment as parents.

Details

Better social skills. Home schooled children are better socialized than institutionally schooled children. This is a big benefit of home schooling.

Both our personal experience and many research studies have shown the social benefits of home schooling. There are some exceptions, but the majority of home schooled children are very good at getting along with others, and they are very comfortable talking to children of different ages (both younger and older than themselves), and to adults.

For more information on this, see our article on "The Social Benefits of Home Schooling."

Self confidence. Home schooled children have higher self confidence.

This is probably because parents teach their children until they get it. When parents teach their children to speak, eat, dress themselves, potty training, etc., they don't stop teaching them until they get it. They do the same when teaching school subjects. When children are learning things well, it makes sense that it builds their self confidence.

Academic performance. Home schooled children learn more, and they learn it significantly better. One-on-one apprenticeship style training works extremely well.

I think this is because parents refuse to teach to a 50% standard. Again, parents keep teaching them until they get it. They are gentle, loving, and persistent, as you would expect parents to be. But they instinctively know there is not much point in learning half of something. If the children are going to learn something, they need to learn it completely, so they can actually do it (our schools can do this for a few children, but unfortunately our schools can't do this for every child).

It's particularly obvious when we teach our children how to talk. We teach them each word until they get it. We never give up. We don't stop teaching until they get each word. We try not to be rude or pushy, but we will not give up until our children get it. It's what they deserve, it's what we owe them, to teach them to speak well enough to get along in the world. Anything less would be bad parenting. It's no wonder that all these children learn how to speak.

Parents home school their children the same way. They teach reading, math, etc. until they get it, so their children can use what they are learning. If a parent is weak in math, they find somebody else to teach that subject, or they find a better curriculum, or they learn it them selves first, but they find a way to make sure their child learns it so fully they can use it.

To be fair, schools attempt to do this, but it's very difficult for one adult teacher to make sure each student has each concept.

Thinking skills. Home schooled students are much better at critical thinking (also called independent thinking, creative thinking, decision making, etc.). This is probably because of a number of factors, including that there is a lot less conformity and rigidity at home which encourages thinking, they have time to explore things more, they have more conversation with adults, etc., but whatever the cause, it's strong enough that even non-home schooling people, including many university professors, have observed it.

Great relationships with your children. When you are teaching your children, you automatically spend a lot of high quality time with them, which develops great relationships with them.

Parents are peers. The older meaning of the word "peers" doesn't imply that peers are the same age, but that they have something in common with each other.

Many home schooling parents say they are peers with their children. They are in relationship with their children, and they affect each other (the parents affect the children, and the children affect the parents). They tell their parents things, because they are always talking with them.

More mature children. I think this happens because they get a lot more one-on-one time with an adult (with a parent) than in a school with many students in a class. This time allows you to teach them how to get along with others, how to deal with problems in life, and to show them that there is hope, that there are solutions to all these little problems (challenges) that life throws our way.

Learning how to get along with others, etc., from a parent, is more effective than learning it from lots of other children who don't know anymore about it than your child.

Moral and spiritual benefits. Home schooling gives you the opportunity to teach a lot more than the basics. When you spend enough time with them, and have a good enough relationship with them, you can teach them your spirituality, morals, how to live well, etc.

High quality friendships. Most home schoolers help their children to meet other children by meeting other families, and by taking their children to places to meet other children. They teach them how to get along. And the children have more choice and freedom to choose if they are friends with each other child (they are not limited to their classroom circle, which may or may not be good for them). These lead to higher quality friendships.

Emotionally healthier and happier children. There is a lot less stress than in schools. We have much more control over the challenges our children must deal with, so they are not overwhelmed by the challenges that they are not developmentally ready for.

Good team players. I think this happens because home schoolers are not competing with everyone they know (like the children in a classroom, who are in competition all the time with the other children), and because they have better relationship skills.

Focus. Home schooled children are usually able to work on a project that interests them, for many hours at a time (e.g. four, six, eight hours in a row) which allows them to really develop their ability to concentrate.

Better citizens. Research shows home schoolers are much more likely to be involved politically, and to be interested in the state of their nation.

Broader interests. Because children learn a lot more per hour in home schooling, they have more time to pursue other interests.

More influence. You get to decide what knowledge your child is exposed to and when. If your child is not ready to learn something, in your opinion, you don't teach it to them.

You also get a lot more say in who they are exposed to. This is partly because in a school classroom, you have no idea of who else is there, but also because they listen to you a lot more.

Balance. Home schooling families usually have a better balance. The focus is not all about marks. It includes community, volunteer work, and a balanced childhood that meets the child's needs socially, emotionally, and spiritually, as well as academically and phsyically.

Family. There are stronger family bonds and focus on community, when a family works together.

Happier children. Both in the short term and in the long term.

The joy of teaching. The joy of seeing your children "getting it," seeing their joy in learning, their "aha" moments.

A deep sense of fulfilment as parents. The primary home schooling parent, also gains a deep sense of fulfilment, that comes from having a significant purpose that is greater than themself.

It´s hard to describe, but I've seen it in the eyes of the home schooling parents I've met, who have been home schooling for more than a couple of years. They have an intensity, that I believe is learned, because all home schooling parents seem to get it. I think it comes from working intensely on such an important purpose as educating your own children well, from spending a lot of time really loving them.

Psychologists have pointed out that the most important thing you can give your child is time. Home schooling is an incredible way to do this.

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